English 125
Instructor: Ms. Young-Manning
The Day I Lost Andrew
I had never felt heartache until I lost my husband. It was first time I had ever felt a pain like this, the first time I had no idea how to live without him, and also the first time I learned how to depend only on myself.
I met my husband Andrew at the age of 15. We went to the same high school, and he sat right behind me in our 7th period English class our junior year. We started dating and eventually got married at the age of 19 on September 2, 2005. We began building our little family a year later. On April 29, 2007, our oldest son Malachi was born. It was an emergency Cesarean. I began to get extremely ill due to my pregnancy, and in order to save my life the doctor had to deliver. I was only thirty weeks along, and it was earlier than recommended to deliver a baby. We were so excited to finally become parents, but scared of the challenges we were about to face due to his prematurity. Our first few months as parents were difficult. We lived in and out of the NICU at Valley Children’s Hospital. Two years later, we had our second child Josiah Andrew, born May 29, 2009. Josiah made our little family complete. Little did we know Andrew would enjoy our children for only six months longer.
On the 10th of January 2010, my life would never be the same. It was the day I felt my life completely stopped. Andrew went out to dinner with a group of friends to celebrate a birthday. I stayed home with our boys so he could enjoy some time alone with friends. After all, he had been working 12-hour days at work; he deserved it. I got a call from him saying he was on his way back home from Fresno and the clutch went out on the car he was driving. He asked if I would go and get him. He and a couple of friends were stranded off to the side of northbound Highway 99, so I had to get myself and the boys dressed. They were still babies, one being only two years old and one six months old. It was cold and foggy out, so I had to dress us warmly.
As I drove to the freeway, I got another call from Andrew asking how far I was and telling me that I would see him off to the side of the road on the dirt. He was the sober driver and the other two guys were drunk, so he wanted to walk away from the car because they were starting to argue. I said okay and hung up to concentrate on driving.
As I got to Highway 99 from Avenue 7, I could see his car, so I began calling him. He didn’t answer his phone after many attempts. As I got on northbound Highway 99, fear began to set in, “Why was he not answering?” I happened to glance out my window, and I saw a body on the road. I felt like someone had punched me in my stomach and knocked the wind out of me. I could not catch my breath, and my immediate reaction was to slam on my brakes and run to him.
At that moment I looked in my rear view mirror and saw both my boys fast asleep, unaware as to what was happening. I also saw a trail of drivers heading my way and I knew, if I stopped, I would be putting my boys at risk so I kept driving. I cried out to God and begged that I was wrong, that I did not see a person. I pleaded with him to let it be a dog. At that moment, I saw a semi-truck parked on the side of the freeway with emergency lights blinking. I knew, I could feel it in my heart that my instincts were right.
By the time I turned around and got back onto southbound Highway 99, California Highway Patrol (CHP) had already gotten to the scene. The CHP officers made me pull over, lock myself in my car, and wait. I did not know what I was waiting for because my heart already knew what had happened. My father got to the scene and identified my husband as the deceased. I learned that the semi-truck had veered off the road, and when the driver tried to correct himself, he caught Andrew on the front right side of the truck and drug him into traffic. That is the moment life as I knew it would never be the same.
Six years later, I am a single mother, raising my kids on my own with the help of family and a few good friends. Nothing in my life is the way I had planned it when I was a little girl. I know now that I can never take anyone for granted. I will never know when it will be my last time to say, “I Love You.”