English 125
Instructor: Ms. Haumschilt
The Cancer That Changed My Life
We all have our stories of change, stories of what make us; for better or for worse, life has its own plan that directs us. It’s up to us, though, to take any situation in stride or to let it be our downfall. At the age of fourteen, I lost one of the only two people I loved in the world, my mom. She was diagnosed with a vile disease called cancer, a disease that would destroy our simple and happy life. Our “tripod,” as we called it, would lose its balance. I knew it would change our lives, although the impact it would have on my life in the future was something I couldn’t process at the time.
If anyone could light up a room with a smile or make me laugh at my worst, it was her. She always stressed to me and my brother to appreciate the small things in life, such as going to Taco Bell after school or picking a spot on the beach to watch the sunset. Things that I never put much thought into growing up, when I reminisce on the past, I’m glad she did. Even in the face of death, she managed to smile every day.
My mom had always told me, “Be nice to every person you meet, for you never know what battles they’re fighting.” Through her battle, she stayed strong, and she always kept a sense of humor. One such example, after the Chemo took her hair, she had bought a Rasta hat with dread locks stitched in and wore it to all her appointments. When doctors would comment on how “cool” her hat was, she would respond with goofy comments like “Yah, Mon.” That sense of humor she carried taught me to never sweat the inevitable and make the best of what I can.
Towards the end she would often tell me to forgive people, not to harbor hate. As a young kid I never knew my father. My parents had their issues. Unfortunately, they didn’t speak to each other, each taking separate paths in life. After she died, I had no desire to contact him. My brother, on the other hand, did. My brother and I had a conversation about my dad, and he asked me to give Dad a chance, to allow him into my life; reluctantly, I did. I discovered what a great man he is. How lucky I am to have my brother for that. I’ve learned more than anything that forgiveness is the key to a happy life.
Ultimately, I can’t really say mom’s diagnosis was what shaped me or molded me. It was more just the person she was. The cancer had a profound impact on me. I try to carry and hold onto the values she instilled in me. Thomas Campbell once said, “To live in hearts we leave behind is not to die.” I’m grateful for every day I had with her. As unfortunate as it is, I was lucky to have her as my mom, even if it was for a short time. Her words, her teachings, her wisdom, and her amazing sense of humor all remind me that the person I am today should be a reflection of who I want to be tomorrow.